Hi friends,
It has been such a sweet while since I've sat down and written out a blog post, and boy do I miss it!
God has been fruitful and faithful in the past few months and has washed over my life in glorious fashion bringing sweet souls into my life and setting my feet onto a new path as I walk through nursing school.
I find often that even when God has been so wonderful I am always asking for more and wondering about what is next. Though God has been beyond gracious to me over the past few months there has been something gnawing at my heart and I just was feeling consumed by it at times. I felt ashamed because though God was providing I was still wanting more.
I have dreamed of getting married and starting a family since I was a little girl. In third grade, I had my first and only "boyfriend", Austin, on the playground and we held hands for a whole day and he pushed me on the swing and I was completely sold until the next day when I wasn't even aware of him again. Since then I've been a single lady (cue Beyonce).
I know God places desires in our hearts that are good and are to be used for his glory and his goodness, but it is often times still hard to trust Him and his timing. Now as you noticed that was my only and last relationship. I have spent the last 11 years completely single and struggling to trust God's design for my life. While all my friends were going on first dates, I was learning to drive a four-wheeler and fish with my dad. While they were going to prom and homecoming, I was snuggled in bed reading books. The list could go on on all the moments I felt like I was missing out on something. Now in college, those emotions are still there and the older I get the more aware I am of just how single I am.
As I have been slowly inching closer to graduating and starting my career it's become more terrifying to just trust that God will bring someone into my life, accompanied with struggling to understand the feelings I have and if they are centered on God's truth. If I have learned anything over this past decade is that crushes suck and liking a boy is really not fun because they make no sense. So I often find myself at this breaking point where I just come to terms that I am going to be single for the rest of life. Eventually, after some Bible Slow Jams, I end up reading Ruth, the story of Abigail and David, or the story of Rachel and Isaac.
These are all stories you would likely find in the Romance section if the bible was divided into genres. Ruth is always my go to, it's a classic. Ruth is out working in the field and Boaz spots her and pretty much asks, "Who is she? Is she single?". I aspire to be a woman like Ruth, she is bold, faithful, patient, loving, and hard-working. I love this story because of Boaz's pursuit of Ruth, and how he boldly pursues her and cares for her. #goals
Abigail and David (1 Samuel 25) is the love story for those who like a little more suspense. Abigail is beautiful, gracious, smart, caring, and thoughtful. She is a force to be reckoned with. David obviously falls for her, though Abigail is married (I sense a pattern for David). Eventually, they end up together after Abigail brilliantly fixes a feast in perfect proportions for David and his 600 men.
Rebekah and Isaac (Genesis 24) is 'The Bachelor' of the bible. Abraham sends out a servant out with specific instructions to find a wife for his son. The servant meets Rebekah along the path with his camels and she offers to bring drinking water to him and the camels so they may rest on their journey. She was attractive too and this clearly sent bells ringing in the servants mind. The servant explained his mission and eventually Rebekah and Isaac ended up together.
It would be easy to let these stories discourage me but instead I find great peace and joy through them. They are testimonies of God's faithfulness. Ruth's husband had died, Abigail's husband was abusive, and Rebekah was single. God brought relationships, beautiful enough to be written in the bible, into their lives. What I draw most from the stories isn't the way they met, their first date, or how attractive the guys were (some of those things are never even addressed), rather I see vividly the character of these women of God.
I can't really change where I am right now in life. God will bring the right person into my life to pursue a relationship with boldly, graciously, and faithfully for God's glory. But for now I am going to pursue the character of these women. I want to be patient, faithful, loving, hard-working, bold, gracious, smart, thoughtful, and so many other things.
I want to encourage you wherever you are, God provides all the answers to our questions in his word. It's up to us to live in the manner he points us to. Women - be diligent in pursuing the character of God and make yourself accessible, you can't sit in a corner waiting for a guy to breakdown all the walls to come to you.
Men - be leaders and pursue women of God in the way God designed, don't be ashamed to be different than the men in the world and in the way they view marriage.
God has a plan for your life and it's difficult to see and understand that sometimes. But He is a good God and He loves you. Your worth isn't defined by a relationship status but rather in your relationship with Him as a daughter/son of the King of Kings.
I'm praying for you all in all your walks for courage and grace!
Love,
Maison