DESIRE

Hey friends!!

As I have been walking through these past few months in my relationship with God, I have been welcomed with an immense amount of struggles as well as many blessings. I've noticed these moments as forks in the road where I stand in the balance between choosing God or choosing something I want. It has been a period of time full of growth but also disappointment in myself as I fall back into old habits. I find it funny that in the more difficult situations it's almost easier for me to follow God because there's nothing I am able to do except just trust that he is in control. Where as in the simplest of moments, when it's just me and my thoughts, I fall short over and over again.

I noticed this trend really present itself after I was on a Jesus high and I prayed asking for more challenges because I felt like life was just too easy for me, and I really wanted to put my faith to the test (I never ever recommend doing this). I am sure God had a giant laugh when He heard that prayer. Ask and it shall be given, so then came a crashing monsoon of moments where my faith was put to the test. Only recently, after this constant struggle between trying to understand what is God's desire for me, what do I desire for myself and where do those things overlap and divide, have I been able to look at it all clearly.

I made this chart for me to kind of differentiate between the two:

God's Desires for Me

- I will most likely have absolutely no definite idea what this is.

- Peace and rest often come when there is complete trust in His plan.

- God's desires are always to bring Him glory.

- Most often are difficult (or come with challenges) but it all goes back to giving God complete praise.

My Desires for Me

- Detailed and planned out.

- Confusion and anxiety often accompany the desires.

- Are to satisfy me.

- Temporary satisfaction (which means a repeated cycle of sin (which means more difficult to work out))

- Easy access, not long lasting, and leave me wanting more.

Obviously you could sit down and add a million more things to each of these (essentially any excuse you've made to justify something you know isn't right falls under 'My Desires').

I've been bouncing back and forth in these comparison situations and as I have worked through this many, many times I have found that, if I am truly trusting God and his control then, instead of it being My Desires vs. God's Desires, it is My Desires and God's Desires are My Desires.

I am an incredibly stubborn and competitive person. If you like something and I don't I will fight my way to justify that my way is better. This could apply to the smallest thing or to the biggest thing either way I will not give up or budge on my decision. I've seen this mentality transfer to my faith. I get this idea of my future stuck in my head and I grow blind to everything else around me. I can sense God throwing rocks at the walls around me but I've built them so thick that I will only see it if it breaks through the barrier.

So what does God's Word say about all of this. Unfortunately I don't think I possess the most knowledge about the scripture, so I flipped to the back of my bible, found the word desire and flipped to Psalm 37:1-7, from there I found 2 Chronicles 15 (not sure how but I did).

I normally don't read the Old Testament, not sure why maybe I just love Paul and am impartial to him, but I have discovered that I am more like the people in the Old Testament then I am to some of the people in the New Testament.

In 2 Chronicles 15 you find the story of Asa, who was the third King of Judah. During his reign (which you can see in v. 1-7) Israel was very distant from God and it reflected in their struggles. They were bounding in great disturbances and were far from God. In v. 6 it says "They were broken in pieces," which often times I can see that reflection in my life. They had denied the Lord access and it led to loss of his protection and peace. In v. 8, Asa's eyes become opened to this reality and he took courage and put away the idols. The next few verses dive deeper into that action but if we pick back up in v. 14 they all make an oath to the Lord and it leads to rejoicing and praise. In v. 15 "they had sworn their heart and sought him with their whole desire, and he was found in them, and the Lord gave them rest all around." Their joy and faith abounded and continued leading to no war for the next 35 years in Asa's reign.

Now that is a beautiful story hidden into the pages of scripture but it speaks directly into this college girls heart thousands of years later.

There are a few points I want to make from this story and I encourage you to read the chapter it is very short!

POINT 1

Understanding God's plan for you means understanding God.

There is a direct tie between God and his plans. Like in the chart I made, you find that God's plans are to bring Him glory. So, to understand his plan we must understand what his glory is.

I read an article by John Piper called What is God's Glory where he attempts to explain God's glory. He makes an incredible visualization of this by describing God's glory as the word beauty more than the word basketball. You can define a basketball, you can explain it with your hands and even with words like round, orange, etc. but beauty is a harder word to define because the definition manifests from an experience more so than words written on a sheet of paper.

He goes on to define the glory of God as the unique beauty and greatness of God's manifest perfection. Another definition is the glory of God is the manifest beauty of his holiness. Where God's glory is tied directly to his holiness and his holiness is what God is that nobody else could be, which is perfect.

It's a bit confusing but it shows that God is incapable of really being defined because he is not of the world but rather something far higher and greater.

POINT 2

When you understand God, a plan doesn't matter as much.

I see this as this thing called perspective. I read an absolutely incredible book called Good Things by Kevin Gerald. I would have to say next to the Word of God this book helped me get through a lot of struggles in life. The books tagline is 'Seeing Your Life Through The Lens Of God's Favor'. BAM! Just reading that made me want to take off my metaphorical glasses and give them a good cleaning because how often does my vision get clouded with my "struggles". I could talk about the book for a very long time and try to help you understand all the amazingness that is found in the pages but I just would recommend you read it because I will not do it justice.

What I want you to understand is when our perspective is on God we aren't looking at our planner anymore. Seeking Him means we are becoming aware of his presence and understanding our complete lack of control. I am given the chance to have free will (thanks Adam and Eve) but when I am aligned with Christ my will then becomes God's will. That is where the shift occurs.

POINT 3

It is not going to be easy to turn from your desires and it will require courage.

This is the hardest part because it is the actual action aspect of it all. Where you have to look at your desires and turn your back to them.

I want to clarify something here though because not all desires are bad. It is when those desires become your full focus that they are toxic. Good things are good, but when they become god things we have a big problem. So don't just drop all of your desires you've ever had because of this, just acknowledge that if that is your highest priority (over God) there needs to be a moment where you step back and reprioritize your pursuits.

In 2 Chronicles 15:7-8 we see Asa take courage and put away the detestable idols. I want you to know that putting your desires away is usually painful, especially if they were something that consumed the majority of your time. It will require courage because making your faith your upmost priority is not the hottest trend. But there is a reward because God doesn't just leave you high and dry, and the reward is himself.

POINT 4

Complete surrender of your desires leads to praise, joy, and rest.

One of my biggest desires that more often than not reaches the top of my priority list is my future husband. No joke there are not many things that stress me out more. It is the one thing that I have absolutely no control over because I have no clue who this dude is or where he is. Over the past month really it has been a daily battle to lay that desire at Jesus' feet. Often when I walk through whether me stressing about it will get me anywhere I take a deep breath and turn my focus from it. The funny thing is though Satan like knows this really is a struggle for me so obviously this is where he squirms his way into my life and makes me question everything. This is where I am aware of the struggle and I stand at the fork in the road debating whether to scroll through their instagram again or log off.

Just like in v. 15 when they sought God with all their desire, he was found in them, and they had rest. When I scroll through Instagram I am left with this sucky feeling afterwards and just find myself in a grumpy mood, questioning if God really loves me then why can't I have this guy. But when I log off and trust that whether it's this guy or another guy it doesn't matter because my life is for God's glory and not my satisfaction, I have much more peace and joy. My satisfaction comes from God getting the glory, that his plan IS better than my plan.

I know that was a lot, but desires are often where satan attacks us because fleshly desires are our weakness and the flesh is where the devil has power. It is when we, as believers, step into the full power of the Holy Spirit that satan is defeated in our lives. It's a daily fight and sometimes multiple times daily we have to establish Christ's authority, but there is always victory. I can 100% promise you that no matter the struggle God is greater. The cross is the promise that satan was defeated forever.

I encourage you to dig deep and dive into those parts that you hide and tuck away for no one to see. Bring the things you hide in the dark to the fullness of his light and you will find freedom. You are loved and you are worth it to free yourself from the grasp of sin. Identify your desires and see how they align with what God shows us in the scripture. Draw near to him and he will draw near to you.

I am an avid journalerer (not sure if that is a word), like catch me writing 6 pages of notes every sermon just because I get all of this revelations and I need to write them all down. I encourage you if its hard to speak things out (which is very powerful), write them. My journal has some deep prayers and it's the most freeing thing to realize that those don't have power. I am praying for you and honestly if you want to share, I would love to pray intentionally over what you are going through. No discrimination and no condemnation.

With love, Maison

#future #boldness #marriage #relationships #faith #waiting #joy #desire #grace #glory #christian #God